We'll have a short discussion about it then do some writing in the comments section of this blog, responding to it with different tones and points of view.
Perspectives:
- Mother
- Classmates - non-bullies
- Classmates - bullies
- Technology
- Police
- Principal
- Girl
- Sympathetic / Understanding
- Disconnected
- Anger
- Sadness
- Confusion
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGENERAL COMMENT: The death of Rebecca Sedwick was in no way or form self-provoked. In fact, her vicious peers put themselves inside of Rebecca, making the old Rebecca vanish with a new person full of self-criticism and sadness. This suicide was not in the hands of technology, but rather in the hands of the peers who harassed her using technology as a portal. All across the nation, bullies feel free to bully someone when they can't actually see the face of the victim. Rather than putting the technology at fault, we must learn to be kind to one another both in person and through technology. Hopefully, in the future we can learn something about our behavior online and in person through this sad article.
ReplyDeleteI'm disconnected technology.
ReplyDeleteAlthough many people blame technology for the tragic suicide of Rebecca Ann Sedwick, I believe the blame lies more in the students themselves. Apps and websites like ask.fm and Kik aren't supposed to be outlets for cyberbullying. There are many people, both adults and children, who use these websites for productive and positive purposes. More focus should be put on students who think that it's acceptable to use social media as a place to threaten and harass others than on the websites and apps themselves. Rebecca's death wouldn't have happened if these students were using the websites the way they were designed to be used. It is not the fault of technology, but rather the fault of the children who abused the technology. After all, a website itself has no power to hurt someone. It's only the person using it and their words that can do any harm.
I am speaking on behalf of the angry Rebecca Sedwick:
ReplyDeleteIt seems as if I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, nowhere to be me. The thoughts of my peers have taken over my life, and I only hear bullies whispering in my ears, saying "go kill yourself" or "you should die". There is nothing that I can do to prevent the bullying. At school, online, and everywhere I see a peer, my heart is broken by ignorant fools. As there is no way out of this quicksand pulling me in faster than a car on the highway, there is no way for me to live a life worth living. Goodbye world, hello peace.
I am the confused non-bully classmate.
ReplyDeleteRebecca Sedwick was a smart girl and I don't understand how she could do this. I mean, she didn't seem sad, not to me and my friends. I just don't understand WHY someone would do this, especially Rebecca.
I am the confused mother:
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't Rebecca tell me about her struggles? Why didn't she not come to me when she felt like she had no where to run? I have all of these questions in my head that will now never be answered because of this tragedy. Why did no one stop? How come her bullies didn't realize what they were doing? I mean is it really worth a 12 year old girl's by saying they should die and no one wants them? No it shouldn't. I feel like at times children are ruthless and they've only reached their limit when something major, like a death, has happened. Why is this? Should us parents be more careful as to what's going on in our children's lives and how they are interacting with their peers? I feel like this whole situation is a mess that should've never happened. I mean lets not forget that we are talking about a young, beautiful 12 year old girl who had a whole future held in front of her but instead threw away because she felt as if she was worthless. I mean what is wrong with society today?
Mother:
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's death was a very tragic experience and has traumatized everyone close to her.Her death was caused by technology, which in my opinion is becoming to big a part of many peoples lives. As a parent it was hard for me to find and protect my daughter from all of the social media sites out there. If there is one thing that I would stress, from parent to parent it is try to control what your children do on the internet you don't know what could happen to them.
I am the upset mom.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter was a kind, charming, beautiful, and intelligent young lady. She had so much spunk and would always love to be with her new friends. Then they came back. All the hate, all the people asking for my darling to die. It was crushing her, and I never knew. I was her mother, and I never knew. I didn't think to look at the app itself on her phone, I thought nothing of it. I never even heard of Kik, but it started again. It hurt her in more ways than imaginable, and it hurts me to think that, even though I tried, I could have helped her more, I could have stopped her from doing what she did. And its killing me inside to know and think that.
Bully's Guilt:
ReplyDeleteI admit to bullying Rebecca Sedwick, but I never knew I could take is so far where she would actually want to kill herself. It all started off as a joke because she dated that boy. She wasn't viewed as the prettiest girl in our grade and everybody started making fun of her for it saying that they broke up because she was too ugly. My friends started doing it and I thought, "hey, why shouldn't I?" Now, looking back to it I have realized that I made a horrible mistake. The outcome we wanted was for Rebecca to cry and feel bad, but even that is a terrible thing to do. I never knew I had the power to push someone so far that they couldn't handle it and didn't wand to keep living. I did a terrible thing and nobody, even myself, should forgive me for it.
mother: angry-
ReplyDeleteI, as Rebecca's mother am filled with grief, but this grief comes from a place of feeling like not enough was done. I believe as a mother I did my job as best as I could to make sure that Rebecca was okay. I did everything in my power to protect her, I took action. But I realized that as the mom of a teenage girl lost in her middle school world, the best thing I could really do was be there for her. although I did all of this, I do believe everyone else in the community was lacking the effort. the school could have done more, and taken it much more seriously. It has not really hit me yet, that my daughter is gone, and that it could have possibly been stopped. I can only control what I can control, that is what goes on in my house. But the school did have this attitude, and did not seem to care. And as for the bullies, have no idea what they have done. To push my daughter, who was once such a happy full of life and enjoyed the technology of her generation, to committing suicide, so young and so brutally, is a crime that can not even be explained. And I myself, know I will live the rest of my life wondering if there was anything more I could have done for her, but I don't think everyone else feels that way. to everyone else, she is just another girl who committed suicide, but the fact that there even is "another" means something is not going right, obviously, and that some initiative needs to be appointed, immediately.
I am the confused bully.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it. Her? I just knew Rebecca. Yeah, I teased her, but that doesn't get at anything. She jumped off the building? Really? Oh god. I just was sending messages. It really was nothing. I mean, it was just some fun. But that! It lead to her doing that! It doesn't make sense. Why? Us? But... That wasn't the point.
I am the confused classmates (bullies). We didn't anticipate that she would take these messages so seriously, nor that she would react to them in the way that she did. It was funny to us, up until this point. None of us realized the impact we had on her, and once we had actually sent those first few messages, it felt much easier to harass her more and more. It seems so strange, in retrospect, that we could do such terrible things to someone.
ReplyDeleteI feel very strongly that this is an inappropriate Assignment. There is no way to share the feelings of a parent who lost their child to bullying. If they cant put words to their sorrows, then who are we to try to do it for them. There is no way to feel the polices bitter disappointment that he was unable to do his own job to save lives. Worse of all, to try and piece together the guesswork of a victims thoughts and pains is to take away from what they were truly experiencing. For when we Type these as if they are creative stories, then that is all they become, and then we will have paid the ultimate dishonor to those whom have truly felt the pain that has sent them into a better world.
ReplyDeleteI am speaking as the helpless classmates who do not bully Rebecca:
ReplyDeleteI want to help this girl out, but how? If I do so, the merciless bullies could turn on me, and then I will be dealing with the same problem she has. But she seems so helpless, and so am I. I'm torn between the choices: risk my social life to help Rebecca's- or act like it's not happening and be worry-free. How can I be worry-free if I know a peer of mine is living the exact opposite of worry-free? This is a tough choice. Unfortunately, I worry it may be too late to help out Rebecca. If only I could somehow help her . . .
mother: angry
ReplyDeleteI thought I was doing everything right. When problems had started coming up I did everything I could but I feel as if I couldn't have done more but others could of. I took her phone away from her and deactivated all her apps that she was getting bullied from... or so I thought. It was the little ones that I as a parent had never heard about. I never knew that something called ask.fm even existed! Not only am I angry at myself for not knowing this I am also angry at the people who were supposed to help me help her that never followed through. When I had talked to the schools about it they did very little to change it. It even got to the point of physical abuse and even at that time they did very little to help and know look where my daughter is now. To think that I personally did all I could but it had gotten so out of hand that even I her parent who is supposed to protect her from anything couldn't stop the horrific words and actions being done to her I don't know what could have changed.
Police:
ReplyDeleteRebecca Sedwick's death is not only an extremely sad story, but awakens our feelings of how important cyber bullying is. That is why, we need to supervise our kids on the internet, and what they are posting. Therefore we can stop someone committing this horrendous crime earlier, therefore preventing any other damage to the victim later on.
I'm the sad principal.
ReplyDeleteThe death of Rebecca Ann Sedwick was tragic and terrible. I am devastated by the loss of one of my students and I offer my sympathies towards her family. As a principal, it is my job to make sure that students have a physically and emotionally safe learning environment. I did everything in my power to try and protect Rebecca from the bullies that tormented her. Her parents had filed a bullying complaint. I took it very seriously and addressed the problem the best way I knew how. However, there is a limit on the things that the school district can do when it comes to social networking and bullying that occurs online. Schools don't control websites like Facebook, Twitter, ask.fm, etc. The problem lies with the students themselves. Parents should also take responsibility to monitor how their kids use the Internet and teach them from an early age that harassment and encouraging suicide are unacceptable.
I am the depressed girl.
ReplyDeleteI am getting tormented more by the day. Everyday I try and put on a brave face for my mom but I don't know how much longer I can take it. The kids at school don't understand what they are doing to me. I shouldn't have created the KIK account but I couldn't resist.I really wanted to get back to a normal life after my first disaster. Now whenever I go on it is just lists stacked with comments like "You really haven't killed yourself yet? Wow i thought it would have been over by now." I mean I see other people's kiks and Ask.fm's and i see "OOh Your perfect. How do you do it?" and the next day that same person would be telling me to kill myself. I guess i just got overwhlemed with all of the comments that I decided to give them what they wanted. This is my last post, Goodbye.
Now i am one of the Disconnected classmates.
I was talking to Joey yesterday about that girl, Rebecca that moved away because of her "issues." She is such a wierdo and I know that by experience. IShe came up to me and asked me about the periods and i saw that under her sleeves were fresh cuts. So I asked told her that she is emo because that is what emo people do and she ran away crying. i don't know what her problem is but she should really get some help. She needs it. Also, I went on Kik the other day and Maria told me to look her up and I did and she was on there. So i told her that she was emo because she cut herself and after other people saw that they agreed with me. But THEY took it wsy too far. I was just kidding around with her and trying to help her see a therapist but THEY were the ones that posted go kill yourslef. Sure i posted one now aand again to appease my friends but thats all it was, I promise.
I am Rebecca...
ReplyDeleteIt all started 6th grade when those girls didn't smile back at me in the hall. We used to be such good friends, sleepovers and play dates were common... what changed? Did I do something wrong? I'm sad all the time now. Not a "You failed a test," sad. But an inner pain that I cannot describe in words. The people i thought were my friends abandoned me. Now I'm sitting here looking at this hate on a website that's supposed to be fun. They don't talk to me at school, but they tell me to kill myself? At first I thought wow they are so mean I'm not ugly. But now I realize that its just me. I'M the one with the problem. And maybe i should just leave and give people a less hard time. You know, they wouldn't, miss me. The only one that would miss me would be my mom or dad. That's not enough. If everyone hates me, then I hate myself too.
I am a disconnected bully:
ReplyDeleteI am stunned. I've never imagined that it would go to such an extent where Rebecca would kill herself. Not to mention that I might be charged with a felony. I am just shocked. I mean like I knew that what I was doing wasn't probably the best thing in the world but no one ever realized how horrible this has gone until now. I am most definitely guilty of the of Rebecca Sedwick and will take full responsibility. I completely realize that this action I did that caused Rebecca to commit suicide is the exact same as knowing you are drunk while driving and killing someone. If I could just go back in time, I would honestly give anything, literally anything, to take back what I had said to Rebecca over ask.fm...
I am the sympathetic classmate. Rebecca Sedwick had always been so nice, and I can't understand why she would be treated this way. I never saw her be mean or rude to anyone, especially in anyway that would result in the amount of hatred she received from some of my classmates.
ReplyDeleteI am a confused classmate.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that my friend Rebecca is really gone, and that I will never see her again. I cant believe that she will never go to high school, college, take another test, or ever be here again. I don't even know what to say. I feel like I have done something wrong, but I don't quite understand what has happened. with cyberbullying, you never know the full story. and that's the scariest part. one person says one thing, the other person says something else, things can be deleted, but everyone says they are still always there. everyone says they will help you, but really they only care when they cant help you out anymore. if there was anything I could have done to help prevent this I would. it scares me to think someone my own age, would end their life so early. and that as I go on in my life, they will not be there. I don't think people understand to what extent this was. and how serious it was. everyday you hear a new story about some cyber bullied girl who ends her life. but you cant put it into perspective until it hits close to home. I hope the bullies feel bad, and I hope they don't strike again. and although this was a heart breaking loss, I hope that Rebecca's death brings us closer to stopping teen suicides and cyber bullying.
concerned classmate:
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand how this could happen. I have heard about it on the news and stories about young people killing themselves but never in a million years did I think it would hit home. I wish I would have known about her being bullied so badly. I new that she was being bullied but not nearly as severely as it actually was. I would have offered her to sit with me or invited her for plans after school or told her that none of that is true. I know I should have done that before but now that she is gone I truly regret it. I hope her family gets through it and I hope that she is now at peace.
I am the confused classmate-non bullies.
ReplyDeleteRebecca? Didn't she move away or something? I barely knew the girl, but she was nice. She was an okay person. I never knew that anyone every bullied her. That's really messed up. What did she every do to them? Why would they have ruined a girls life? She could have been the first female president for all we know, but now that's not going to happen. I didn't know Rebecca very well, but I do know that she didn't deserve what came to her.
I am the angry police officer
ReplyDeleteRebecca Sedwick had no reason to take her life. She was a smart girl that could have gone somewhere with her life but instead she through it all away over some silly application on her phone. If she was really that terrorized then she could have just deleted the applications. She kept them though and only god knows why. She CHOSE to jump off that cement plant and listen to what those children were telling them. It was entirely her decision. Also what I want to know is how she even jumped off of the cement plant in the first place. Wouldn't her mother have some sort of inkling that her daughter was going to commit suicide and jump off of a building? This isn't the police's problem either. We have no control over what young children are doing on the internet and its not our job to punish every kid who writes something mean to another kid, like we have no control over what other kids say to other kids. The verbal abuse is the Teachers and Principals jobs and the technology is the parents jobs. This is a technology issue so it is essentially the parents of Rebecca and the Parents of the bullies to deal with because they should have watched their kids better.
I am speaking from the perspective of the confused mother:
ReplyDeleteI'm still in shock from what happened earlier this morning. To me, it seemed as though Rebecca wasn't being bullied anymore and that she was living a happy normal life now. Apparently that wasn't the case. After my daughter had killed herself, I had found out that she was still being bullied on social medias. I had been watching her Facebook and Twitter accounts many times a day to see if she was being bullied. Unfortunately, she had made accounts on social media sites that I had never even heard. I am very confused as to why she didn't come to me for help. I truly believed that if she was being bullied again she would come to me for help. If she had, she might still be with us right now.
I am the failed cop.
ReplyDeleteMy feelings of sorrow and empathy all go to the family, and to the little girl who died. YEt there is also the feelings of failure that I had. I Became a policeman to protect my fellow citizens. To lose any one of them leaves the bitter sorrow of me failing my duties. Worse even that I am unable to prevent it from happening again on the internet, where i personally have no control over what is said.
I am the sympathetic classmate.
ReplyDeleteRebecca? Dead? But she was so quite. I thought I might like her. She had transferred to our school, and I always wondered why. How's her parents? I just feel terrible. Who would do that? Who did that! I mean, she was bullied, right? That's why she did it. I just have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is there any way to help her family? I'll help. I can help. I might not have known her well, but I just want to help now.
Confused Rebecca Sedwick:
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. The three words I constantly say in my head. Why me? Why anyone? I'm just a normal girl, I didn't do anything mean to you and I'm not ugly or stupid. I don't understand why you had to pick on someone. Does it make you feel good knowing I go home everyday hating myself and believing all those things you tell me? Does it make you happy to know you succeeded in telling me to kill myself? Are you feeling guilty right now because you got in big trouble? If you didn't get in trouble would you even care? You probably wouldn't, I'm just a poor excuse of a life as all of you say. The golden rule, "treat others the way you want to be treated" has been in our heads since we started school. So tell me, what would you do if I or someone else did this to you? Right now, you say that you would have gotten help, well it's not that easy. Why don't you go through life with everyone hating on you all the time. I couldn't even talk to my mom about it because she thought I was happy. Does it make you feel bad knowing somebody lost their child because of you? It probably doesn't. Be careful what you wish for, and since you wished me dead, I AM dead.
Rebecca:
ReplyDeleteI can feel the walls closing in on me. I can't find a way out. These cruel and hurtful messages keep piling up on me. I can't tell my mom... no I can get out of this on my own. Oh mom, poor mom, she moved me to a new school and tried to help me, but my carelessness in thinking everything would be fine if I just joined one more social media website. This is taking a large toll on me. I don't know how much more I can take of this.
I am speaking from the perspective of the angry Rebecca Sedwick:
ReplyDeleteIt seems as though I am out of options. No place safe for me. Wherever I go, I am constantly bullied. The words of my peers haunted me throughout my life. They said things such as: Just kill yourself, nobody wants you here and Why are you still alive. I used to make resilient responses and was able to deal with it. As it kept going on and on I just couldn't take it anymore. In the end, I ended up giving them what they wanted.
Bully:
ReplyDeleteI never meant for this to be the outcome. I was just having fun, it made me feel better about myself. Yet obviously, in the end I am the one who will never get over it. Why? Why would I even do this, I was dumb. I never knew the pain she had, the only thing I felt was my growing confidence, while Rebecca's was decreasing. I now feel the words I sent her, haunting me. I will never forget what I have done.
I am the helpless non-bully.
ReplyDeleteRebecca walked into school like she had elephants strapped to her feet and one perched on her neck. Everyday she came to school like this. I would laugh at her, if I didn't know the whole story. The stupid site "ask.fm" is ruining her life. I see what girls on there say to her. My gosh if people said that to me I would hang my head low too. Ya sure I hate that they do that on that overrated site. Why pick on Rebecca? What did she ever do to them that would make them do those things? I can't help her though. I can't say cut it out. I cant do ANYTHING because they will turn it back on me. I don't really want that, I can just sit here and watch. Like a movie, probably for Rebecca that movie is horror. She doesn't want that kind of movie to be her life. She wants someone to say something before her middle school life hits it's climax. But I can't do it I cant help her. I just hope someone else does, before its too late.
I am the mother of Rebecca Ann Sedwick, Tricia Norman and ever since my daughter's suicide I have felt devastated and hopeless. It is unbelievably painful for me to share the story of Rebecca's death because, in truth, she kept the story of her life hidden away from me. Rebecca was the target of numerous acts of bullying and hate, however, this I didn't understand because I knew my daughter; she was an innocent child trying to develop into an adult like everyone around her, but unfortunately, others saw this as a negative characteristic and decided to dedicate their time to making her feel bad about herself, -just for simply being herself. At first I didn't know what was going on- she had kept the hateful words of others within herself, bottled up inside and didn't share them with anybody. When her behaviors began to change, her smiles became less frequent- then extinct,- I felt that something wasn't right. But, I never expected that the place I was sending my daughter out to everyday was the battlefield she faced everyday. I felt guilty that I didn't do anything about it, - that she didn't tell me. I didn't understand why she had allowed it to destroy her. As a mother, I had felt compelled to then make sure that it was my responsibility from there on out make sure that my daughter was safe, -free from harm, free from bullying, and free to be herself. I addressed the school, and really stressed how infuriated I was with my lost of trust in them, the lack of care that my daughter was receiving made me angry; I wasn't embarrassed to let them know how dissatisfied I was, and how I needed them from there on out to prove to me that I wouldn't have to regret sending my child out to their school again. -This, though, was a failed message- because Rebecca continued to receive hateful texts, photos, threats and physical abuse from the people who were supposed to be her friends and classmates. At this point, I knew things were going to get worse unless I took Rebecca to another school, - for the one I took her away from failed her. To ensure that the bullies couldn't get to my daughter in preventable methods, I had taken away her cell phone, her accounts and internet pages. I wanted to spare her from the harmful effects that technology can have on victims of cyber-bullying. This, though, when I did, I took away the things that I was aware of. I knew of the things that reached a lady of my age's knowledge of the developing world; facebook, instagram, email and cell phone texting/calling were the only applications and technological developments that I knew of. Rebecca was upset I had taken these things away from her, so when she expressed this to me; I simply tried to get her to understand that I was doing it because I loved her, and wanted the best for her. She, sadly to say though, continued to use some applications, which I had no even idea of their existence...They were secrets Rebecca kept from me, hid from me, along with her emotions, feelings, and true self. -This I think was a result of the bullying, people tried to break her down, crumple her up and make her despise herself so much that she wasn't even able to be herself in her own home. This is absolutely depressing to speak about- because for the last years that Rebecca was alive the bullies tormented her so much she couldn't even feel safe in places where she was...This all lead to her tragic death which I feel like nobody could prevent no matter their attempts, -not even I, her own mother, could keep her daughter from ending her life. I know that deep down, I did everything I could. There were bystanders, such as the school and kids standing beside her, which I know saw the same thing I did, but didn't reach out to her. She had felt alone, and from this day forever on I know that this was not my fault, but only the heartless people who kept pushing her until the day she jumped.
ReplyDelete